Thursday, May 13, 2010

Disabled and Saying, "I Do!"

Happy day to all my fans! Woot! Hope you are having a low-pain day, or even...a NO-pain day! Wouldn't that be wonderful?!

                                           Offbeat Bride

Today, I am recovering from the lovely mess I did to myself at the beginning of the week. I decided to pop out my neck and upper back by towel-drying my hair after my shower. Haha! Yes, I am officially banning the twisted-towel-on-head look. My chiro and I decided it would be best for me to find a new fashion statement. I have been nursing the foot from the strain/sprain and the neck/back all week...and what better way to get my mind off all of it than to spend some time lapping up coffee, writing to all of you while sitting in the sunshine, and doing a post about...weddings?!

No, I am not getting married. Maybe one day, but not now. I have to say, for many years I had a bad taste in my mouth about the entire wedding thing. Part of this had to do with the fact that I am a young divorcée, happily so, and didn't ever see the point in marrying anyone else. I had a sour taste in my mouth from the first one. It wasn't right once, why would it be 'right' a second time? Also, and more importantly, why would I want to conform to societal/religious standards when I don't agree with them? I didn't want to even think about marriage, if I were to reconsider, until ALL couples, regardless of gender, were legally allowed to marry. I still have a lot of those feelings, but over the last couple of years, some of them have changed.

A couple years back, a friend was getting married and she wrote me a snippet about a wedding website that was a bit more off-the-wall than usual. I have no idea what sparked me to subscribe, but I have been an avid reader since then, even when I wasn't considering the thought of a wedding in my lifetime. Crazy! Since I have decided that I will be open to marriage, and in fact, am hoping to be married in my future, I love the ideas I snag from the site, including how open they are to alternative lifestyles, odd wedding attire, and disability-friendly weddings. Being disabled myself, this is extremely touching.

I still have a lot of the feelings I did before, and I still fight for equal rights for all and don't conform to a lot of 'traditional' and societal standards, but I also have to consider what is best for me personally, and for my health. With regard to health insurance, access to medical records, end-of-life decision making, etc., as someone who deals with chronic health issues, I feel it would be 'necessary' to be legally married in this country, when I find my life partner. I would want them to have full access to everything relating to my health, and vice versa.

With all of that said, I am not judging any of you for your beliefs or actions! Thanks for keeping an open mind and respecting my views as well! :)

Offbeat Bride, or OBB as it is candidly known to fans, has opened my eyes to a world of wedding possibilities! I wanted to share this in case any of you might be planning nuptials, just to show you that it isn't impossible to have an amazing disability-friendly wedding! Ariel Meadow Stallings has created a real treasure! For more info, please browse through the weddings below and then visit her site! She also has a book available for purchase here, at Amazon.


Rebekah and Shayne's Hospital Wedding:


 
 Photo by Conway Liao.
  • "Shayne was diagnosed with non-hodgkins lymphoma and we decided not to wait any longer. We got married in the hospital a week after we got the diagnosis...I could make sure [he] had continuous insurance..." (continue reading here)



Andy and Jeff's bright green, design-detailed wedding:
 
 
  • "I had a "Just Married" sign on the back of my wheelchair, and at the end of the aisle we had a pause and were able to enjoy each others company for a minute…" (continue reading here)



Fran and Siobhán's feminist,  disability-friendly, colourful, vegan wedding:

 
 Photo by Rob Bird.
  • "We met because of chronic health  problems, so planning a wedding left us even more exhausted than  normal.  We planned the day around this, sitting during the ceremony, with comfy seats with arms during the meal, sofas around the dancefloor, the whole venue was disability friendly.  We planned it from bed using  the laptop, and even had photos taken while we lay on the ground!..." (continue reading here)


If you liked these stories, OBB has a ton more! Check out the wedding goodies!

Love you all! Many years of love and bliss to those who are single and wedded, healthy and disabled!


xo
dani

1 comment:

Samantha said...

So glad to hear that you are more open to the idea of marriage. I just celebrated my 10th anniversary with my husband and our daughter. It is much easier from a health standpoint--I can be on his insurance, he will be able to act for me if the unthinkable happens and I end up needing machines and treatments I wouldn't want, etc., but it is also great to have the constant love and support I frequently need to get through the day. I realize you don't need marriage to have that love, but I think it does make it harder to walk away and encourages you to work things out. We went through a really rough spot several years ago, and I think being married kept us both more committed to working it out. Maybe not--who can say what would have happend if we hadn't been married? I just feel like I certainly was more hesitant to walk away than i had been in many other relationships. In any case, best of luck to you in having relatively pain reduced day, and best of luck in finding your path to happiness.